Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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