I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
