Non-Jews are for practice
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
