she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
