honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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