the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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