he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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