Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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