She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
