Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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