He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
