; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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