White coat. Heels.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
