pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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