Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
