I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
