guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
