"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
