you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
