my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
