Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
