his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think i got beer on your cat.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
