paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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