i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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