clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
