if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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