dude i'm inner monologue high
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
