Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
