Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
