Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
