So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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