what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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