YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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