You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
