how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
