I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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