i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
