what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
