taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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