Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize