I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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