Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
