"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
