i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
