Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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