Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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