Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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