dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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