he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize