trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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