i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
