I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
