Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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