That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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