The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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