yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
